Do you ever see girls post photos on Instagram and Facebook that always just look so…PERFECT? They always have over 100 likes on their photos and you’re just sitting there like….“UGH WHY DO I LOOK SO RATCHET ALL THE TIME AND HOW DO THEY LOOK SO PERFECT?! HOW?!?!”
Never forget that most of the time people pick and choose the absolute best photos during the 10% of their day when they just did their hair/makeup/wearing the perfect outfit. And it’s filtered. Sometimes DOUBLE filtered. (Thanks, iPhone IOS7!)
I mean we all do it…there’s nothing wrong with it. Why not show your best self off, right? Lookin’ good feels good! Heck, my own profile photo is a professionally done shot with my favorite red polka-dot dress, hair and makeup perfectly done with great lighting. I wish I looked like my best representation all the time, but dang, it takes some work.
Just realize it’s normal to feel insecure sometimes, especially moreso in our “glued to our smartphones/social networking” world. But I’ve found the best way to overcome that is just to be you and don’t apologize for it. We all have flaws and imperfections and that’s what makes us unique and beautiful.
So hey guys, this is me 90% of the time. (Working from home is conducive to PJs and undone hair, naturally.) My skin is broken out a little bit right now. (But hey, thanks clean eating, working out and coconut oil for making my skin MUCH better than it used to be!)
But really who cares? Does it make me less of a human? Nah. Can I not accomplish my goals in life or make an impact on this world because my nose is a little crooked at certain angles? Nope.
And no, I don’t think I’m “brave” or anything for posting a less than stellar photo of me. I’m just me. You can like it or not like it. You can roll your eyes and think I’m annoying or self-absorbed or overthink things too much or whatever you want.
But there may be one person that needed to read what I wrote just now and it might help them change their perspective, even if for a minute.
I’m just realizing these days how much of an impact social media has on others, even subconsciously, more than people might even realize.
After posting the above on my personal Facebook page, I received a comment from a friend of mine that really made me think:
“THIS is a “bad” (or “less than stellar”) picture of you???? See, this is the issue: I totally and wholly appreciate everything you have said here. It’s valid, well thought-out, and encouraging. But many women (myself included) see a picture like this, of a woman who is in all objectivity naturally beautiful by conventional standards — so much so that her “bad” picture exceeds those of mine when I’m dolled to the nines — and it’s hard not to feel “less than”.
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m very grateful for what you’ve written; I agree with it and applaud you for it. But an imperfect little piece of me (and most women, I imagine, who are insecure about their own appearance) still shrugs derisively, “well, it’s easy for her to say. Look at her. Sigh. ”
(I typed the following as a response, but want to share this with you all because it really resonated with me)
“I guess the point I’m trying to make is that ALL women (me included!) sometimes consider ourselves “less than” and feel like we have to look 100% perfect all the time to be considered “beautiful” by any standards. And everyone seems to compare their worst self to others’ best!
You say-“But an imperfect little piece of me (and most women, I imagine, who are insecure about their own appearance) still shrugs derisively, “well, it’s easy for her to say. Look at her.”
It’s funny that you say that- because I, myself feel like an imperfect woman, insecure about my own appearance. Just as I am baffled that you would say something like ” her “bad” picture exceeds those of mine when I’m dolled to the nines” because I know that you are a beautiful person, that may be indicative of how you feel about me right now.”
Isn’t it crazy how perceptions can be so different?
I’ve gotten better these days, but I used to have an extremely unhealthy body image and self-esteem issues. On twitter account I’ve run into girls who are starving to be 80 lbs. so they can live up to their own standards of what beauty is, even though THEY could be considered “conventionally beautiful.” It saddens me to no end. There are even girls who are extremely fit, FITNESS model worthy, even, and yet continually complain about their bodyfat percentage. It just never ends.
We all can benefit from not comparing to others but to recognize our OWN beauty from within, and to stop viewing our imperfections with a magnifying glass- because what we think is a flaw, or imperfection, can be sheer beauty to those around us.
What a difference we could make in the world as a society if we stopped focusing on trying to live up to what WE PERCEIVE is “perfection” and just started loving ourselves for who we are. At that point we could focus on building others up and spreading an idea of acceptance and love instead of criticism and judgment.